[Niknakflak] Maccus - Permaban

[Maccus]

Byond account and character name: VinegarStrokes/Dayum Glutton
Banning admin: Niknakflak
Ban type (What are you banned from?): The server, forever.
Ban reason and length:

You have been banned by niknakflak.
Reason: Griefer. Laughable IC in OOC, random killing people as well as random spouting about a disgusting anal carrot butt story. We don't tolerate your kind here.
This is a permanent ban.

Time ban was placed (including time zone): 7/23/2015, 18:40:02, UTC-6
Your side of the story: I literally have no idea what this dude is talking about. I signed up as sec officer, walked through the halls, saw a lizard in strange gear blasting up a hallway with a laser, saw ANOTHER sec officer stun and beat them up and run off, and then the clean-up crew showed up, the rest of sec forcefed me Lexorin, and as I gasped myself to death, I decide to go to the store to pick up some Red Baron's Party Supreme Pizza With The Rising Crust and a Twenty-Pack Of Solo Cups, and when I come back, I missed any adminPMs and was just permabanned for "IC in OOC and an anal carrot butt story," which is really weird because I didn't even talk on OOC at that time. nor do I have any idea why an anal carrot butt story was even brought up.
Why you think you should be unbanned: I've literally done nothing wrong, and I missed my opportunity to even defend myself because I was at my local Wal-Mart Supercenter buying Red Baron's Party Supreme Pizza With The Rising Crust and a Twenty-Pack Of Solo Cups.

[Timbrewolf]

I'm posting in this thread as Maccus' bonded FNR legal aid. My retainer fee of three (3) 40z (forty ounce) Olde English 800 Malt Liqour beverages (a product of the MIller Brewing Company) has been secured, consumed, and a brief interview with my client conducted.

The following points are grounds enough for the immediate release and exoneration of my client:

1) No IC in OOC ever occured. That's fabricated charges. I cannot prove that this was added to the ban purposely or maliciously, but it's still in error.

2) As lizards cannot be heads of staff they should never have direct access to laser weapons. Any lizard running around with one is a thief with a deadly weapon. While that isn't grounds for immediate execution, shooting someone to death in a situation like this hasn't previously been grounds for a permaban either.

3) I would like to see logs of this "anal carrot butt story" both to examine their impact on the playerbase and also because that sounds fucking hilarious.

4) "We don't tolerate your kind here" is a very prejudiced and hateful statement when we're supposed to be an inclusive and fun group of gamers drawn together by a common interest in having fun. NikNak "Don't be friends with the Playerbase" Flak is obviously some kind of hatemonger and I would counter-sue that it's high-time he be removed from the admin.txt for his inability to promote fun in the playerbase or work well with other admins. To say we don't tolerate Maccus' presence in the community is pretty ridiculous coming from NikNak. If NikNak wants a popularity contest between him and Maccus I think he would get obliterated.

[ColonicAcid]

I am appalled that what we prided ourselves on, not being sjw's and being able to say cuss words and pretty much anything else has been breached.

Perhaps some players enjoyed the so apparent "anal carrot butt story", to make a presumption that it was disgusting (that is implying it even happened in the first place) is way out of order sir.

"We don't tolerate your kind here"? Maccus is a proud member of the african american community, they thought long and hard for civil emancipation to only been told that they're not welcome in an anonymouse internet community? Absolutely disgusting.

[Timbrewolf]

I made a duplicate post in the manner of a Xerox Office Copier Machine

[Timbrewolf]

The thought of one of my proud black friends being oppressed in spessmens got me so angry it made my head hurt. Thankfully I was able to find relief in Excedrin brand Extra Strength Pain Reliever/Pain Reliever Aid.

This is not the community we were created to be. Racism in the administration should not be tolerated.

[Maccus]

I would like a prompt reply from the administration as soon as possible. I'd like a reply as quick as Maruchan Picante Beef Ramen Noodles' recommended cooking time (which is approx. 5 minutes).

[nsos]

free him

[Maccus]

snip

[ColonicAcid]

Honestly when I first saw this I was furious. One of my good friends banned for absolutely nothing. I was practically overheating like an nvidia graphics card, more specifically a 5900 Ultra, which has recorded temperatures of 90 degrees.
I digress though, this permaban was absolutely uncalled for and we still can't actually see whether or not it was even valid due to no administrative response.
This is exactly like a GTX 980, a lot of hype, but very little delivery.

[tedward1337]

Ill go log diving.

Edit: wait was this badger?

[Tsaricide]

I think he meant ooc in ic
[18:04:49]SAY: Dayum Glutton/VinegarStrokes : Sh got pvpd
[18:04:52]SAY: Dayum Glutton/VinegarStrokes : Lm@o
[18:08:12]SAY: Dayum Glutton/VinegarStrokes : L
[18:08:13]SAY: Dayum Glutton/VinegarStrokes : M
[18:08:15]SAY: Dayum Glutton/VinegarStrokes : @
[18:08:16]SAY: Dayum Glutton/VinegarStrokes : O
[18:08:18]SAY: Dayum Glutton/VinegarStrokes : Pvp

[18:08:55]SAY: Dayum Glutton/VinegarStrokes : This story should last about as long as you can hold your breath, and then just a little bit longer. So listen as fast as you can.
[18:09:06]SAY: Dayum Glutton/VinegarStrokes : A friend of mine, when he was thirteen years old he heard about "pegging." This is when a guy gets banged up the butt with a dildo. Stimulate the prostate gland hard enough, and the rumor is you can have explosive hands-free orgasms. At that age, this friend's a little sex maniac. He's always jonesing for a better way to get his rocks off. He goes out to buy a carrot and some petroleum jelly. To conduct a little private research. Then he pictures how it's going to look at the supermarket checkstand, the lonely carrot and petroleum jelly rolling down the conveyer belt toward the grocery store cashier. All the shoppers waiting in line, watching. Everyone seeing the big evening he has planned.

And there is no way I am copy pasting the entire story.

[ColonicAcid]

That is clearly a very acclaimed story by Chuck Palahniuk.

Also I am 90% sure that he is trying to say she got "pvc'd", it's a slang term for getting plastered. People use it in real life.

[NikNakFlak]

The ban reason was mistype, it was a shit ton of OOC in IC, not the opposite.

[NikNakFlak]

He was playing under an ALT ckey at the time, I didn't know it was Maccus, I assumed it was a griefer. I still don't really know who maccus is besides just a forum name and oldfag.

[NikNakFlak]

I'm also not lifting this.

[Timbrewolf]

Tsaricide if you're having trouble releasing the logs I would recommend Ex-Lax Regular Strength Chewable Chocolate Tablets (a product of Novartis International AG).

It should be obvious to everyone that permabanning someone for one instance of OOC in IC is not only ridiculous, it's inconsistent as hell. Not like the deliciously smooth flavor of Marlboro brand Marlboro Red Cigarettes (a product of Phillip Morris (a branch of Altria)). The consistency of which remains unchanged for over 60 (sixty) years.

[Maccus]

I like how NNF just swept the racism accusations under the rug, possibly using a Swiffer Sweeper, which is perfect for quick and easy cleanup for breakrooms and kitchens.

[Tsaricide]

Well niknak said he's not lifting this so I'll just lock the thread I guess.

[ColonicAcid]

If you have trouble cleaning the logs up may I suggest Ajax toilets? With their superior flush technology they can get rid of any hard to flush log that you may encounter.